Tuesday, 2 December 2008

...eternal circle

There is an idea within Einstein's General Theory of Relativity that if an object travels in a straight line through space for a ridiculously large amount of time, that object will eventually arrive at it's initial point of departure. Of course this all depends on the answer to the great question, is the universe open-ended or curved?

As far the bloggiverse is concerned, I am living proof that it is of the curved variety.

I have arrived at my initial point of departure...... again.

You see being the Man at the Pub makes one prone to making rash, emotional decisions whilst in varying degrees of inebriation, and early this year (or late last year) I awoke one afternoon behind the neighbours compost bin with a whopping headache to find my beer had been stolen from the fridge and my blog had disappeared. The whole lot gone.

In an effort to re-invigorate I constructed my next blog, Red in Tooth and Claw, a cutting edge expose into the Janus faced, naked ape, delving deep into the dark recesses of the mind of the third Chimpanzee and it's view of the world around it. I even changed my name to Homo J. Sapien to herald the occasion. It lasted about two weeks, but it did have a nice picture of a Mandrill in the background. You see my intellectualism is like a Japanese meal.... lots of it, in very small portions.......... and an innordinate fondness for sea cucumbers.

A sea cucumber, yesterday.

After a blogless period I tuned my creative meanderings to It's not you, its me!, a tottering, rollercoaster of a blog, about an overweight, middleclass, white male and his problems. While not the most original of blog ideas, it satisfied for a while. And in an act of foolhardy short-sightedness, I started another blog, to revive my flagging painting career, Blank Canvas, an artists journal. But they didn't fire, and I didn't love them, so I caught up for a few drinks with my old mate the delete button.

My bloglife had died in the arse. I drifted through time and space, like in that fantasy movie but without all the cool special effects and beings from other dimesions. I was a failed blogger. A flogger. I needed to redeem my online self. My creativity failed to spark in other departments, like oil painting, photography, playing guitar and model aeroplanes, but the sex was great.

Then one day I got the itch, and it wasn't that fungal thing this time. I needed a new blog. I busily set about the concept of it and then the design and tone. Small World, a grownup's blog. A blog about fascinating places, unusual facts in history and the natural world, of general interest but best used with Google Earth. I embraced my inner geek and knocked up a you beaut header. I would be factual and objective in my posts. It would be a non-political blog suitable for every person from every culture, children and old people, if they knew what a blog was.

But I soon realised the error in my thinking. How could I be perfectly neutral and objective? How could I not crack a joke at someone else's expense? How could I not upset half the world's population when I innocently mention that I think Captain Cook was a top bloke for his time, despite all the colonization and brutal opression that followed him.

Captain James Cook. Man before his time, or utter bastard?

Then I got an email from a lady from west, a reader of the original The Man at the Pub. She reported on the a dire threat to the security of the local blog scene...... rampant complacency. She also said my old blog was good, so that was enough to have me don my cape, put my undies on the outside of my pants, scrap Small World and ressurrect The Man at the Pub, like a phoenix from the ashes who has just realized his DVD's are 3 weeks overdue. So here I stand, ready to add my own unique form of complacency to the local blog scene.

I have my old mouth back. Yay!

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9 Comments:

At 2 December 2008 at 22:23 , Blogger the projectivist said...

I don't know very much about sea cucumbers. And by 'very much' - well, i mean that i know nothing. I'm guessing that a raita made from them wouldn't taste that great.

Thanks for visiting my blog. I look forward to some ill informed posts from yours!

 
At 2 December 2008 at 22:26 , Blogger Miles McClagan said...

It's definitely freaky, somehow, that you've left a comment on my blog, and I come here to re-ciprocate (sp?) and see a picture of a Sea Cucumber, when that was the name of my mixed netball team...I mean, what are the odds! That's a strike against complacency such weird chance...

 
At 2 December 2008 at 23:21 , Blogger The Man at the Pub said...

Good evening Projectivist. Nice to make your acquaintance. And your right! Sea cucumbers are unsuitable for making Raita, as they have the disturbing habit of regurgitating their internal organs when startled.

Hi Miles. I'm delighted and somewhat surprised to hear you have a netball team named in honour of these plucky little echinoderms. Bravo!

 
At 2 December 2008 at 23:35 , Blogger the projectivist said...

ewwwww!
that's disgusting. i shall definitely stick to the land-dwelling varieties of cucumber should i decide to hold a high tea anytime soon.

oh look!
there's Prison Break just starting. how many prisons can two people escape from, huh?

 
At 3 December 2008 at 07:42 , Blogger meva said...

I'm glad you're back, because now I can ask the burning question. Why are they called sea cucumbers? I get the 'sea' bit, but 'cucumber'? That's patently ridiculous.

 
At 3 December 2008 at 10:14 , Blogger The Man at the Pub said...

Hi Meva. It's good to be back.

Sea cucumbers are so named due to their leathery skin and elongated bodies. That is where the similarity ends with cucumbers. In Japan they are known as Namako, which translates to "Sea Mice". I don't know why, it's not as if they run around eating cheese. The Japanese love to eat Sea Mice and write poems about them. In fact there is even a book containing 1,000 haiku poems titled "Rise, Ye Sea Slugs". (I love Wikipedia)

 
At 3 December 2008 at 20:09 , Blogger meva said...

Freakin' hell!!

 
At 4 December 2008 at 21:03 , Blogger eleanor bloom said...

Yay, yay, yay, & hooray!

So worthwhile you coming back! even if it's just for your explanation of your own brand of intellectualism which will never have me look at japanese food or sea cucumbers quite the same way again (not that I really liked my old way of looking at sea cucumbers...).

And am loving your inebriated Bond look.

 
At 5 December 2008 at 17:08 , Blogger Kath Lockett said...

Welcome Back MATP - I've missed you and will cracking a few reds (drinks, son, drinks) in your honour tonight.

 

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