Thursday, 24 June 2010


Reasons why Julia Gillard will make a good PM.

- She's much, much, much better looking than Kevin Rudd.

- She's Victorian.

- She doesn't have kids to distract her.

- She's not Tony Abbott.

- She's a ranga, so she's good for minorities.

- Now we have a female PM, there won't be any wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.


Thursday, 17 June 2010

...when karma runs over your dogma

According to Wikipedia, the World's most accurate source of information (aside from my blog), the second largest religion practised in Australia other than Christianity is Buddhism. I tried to verify this from the website of the Australian Bureau of Statistics, but was bamboozled by my attempt to confirm this seemingly simple statistic without having to download Excel Streaming Beta Data Statistics Viewer Version 8.1. and trawling through 109 years of ye olde spreadsheeting.

Nicolaus Copernicus - inventor of the spreadsheet, and complete bastard

Buddhists represent a whopping 2.1% of the population. Islam comes in a hefty third (1.7%) and Judaism in fourth spot (0.5%). I'm sure 'Jedi' would have given the other minority religions a run for their money, had it not been disregarded by those humourless statisticians at the last census.

So next time you see a report on Today Tonight about the threat to your security by women wearing head scarves, or hear your local One Nation candidate talking about being 'swamped' by Muslim hordes, fear not. If you get a load of Pauline Hanson claiming that the 'Australian way of life' (whatever that is) is under threat by Islam, or hear claims that soon we will all be living under Sharia law, think again. The numbers say it all's those Buddhists we should fear!

While you could argue that 2.1% is nary a 'swamping', as Australia's fastest growing religion, Bhuddism is set to soon topple society as we know it. People will be forced to eat tofu burgers at incense point. Steak houses will be converted into Lentil as Anythings (sure its virtually free but the service is lousy). And we'll be forced to listen to Nirvana...the one without drums.

And on the world stage, our once quasi-aggressive nation will adopt a conciliatory stance with our traditional foes, and hold a neutral position on global conflicts. You just can't trust neutrals; you never know whose side they are on.

I think we need a war on inner peace before this gets out of hand. Where's George when you need him?

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Wednesday, 9 June 2010 axis of ignorance

I keep hearing people saying "Afghanistan is like Vietnam". So I'm thinking... if that is the case, then where is this 'Vietnam' and should we attack it?


Tuesday, 8 June 2010

...signs of life

Long time - no posty.

Blogging really is a phasey thing for me ie, I completely lack the commitment to see anything through…except a large Prawno from my local pizza place… and the director's cut of Lord of the Rings-Return of the King. I'm the kind of bloke who gets a diary/planner for Christmas and writes "Start using diary" in the January 1 box, which turns out to be the last time I ever see my diary.

Oh and there's my commitment to Q and this little munchkin, who has come along to upset my habit of indulging myself in utterly selfish pursuits and generally ruin my delusions of a robust bachelorhood, now lost…in the most wonderful way!

I questioned whether to post this picture without Phoebe Seraphina Richards' consent. I tried to explain to her the moral implications associated with the rise of social networking sites and modern privacy issues, but she just grinned and pooed her pants. And anyway it's on Facebook, so according to reports she is already being stalked by thousands of weirdos and about to have her brain scanned by Google for marketing purposes. Meh. What are you gonna do?

So that's a good excuse for not doing my homework; I've been busy making people. It sure beats "the dog from Pixar ate my post". In fact, she's the best excuse I'll ever have for anything.