Thursday, 17 June 2010

...when karma runs over your dogma

According to Wikipedia, the World's most accurate source of information (aside from my blog), the second largest religion practised in Australia other than Christianity is Buddhism. I tried to verify this from the website of the Australian Bureau of Statistics, but was bamboozled by my attempt to confirm this seemingly simple statistic without having to download Excel Streaming Beta Data Statistics Viewer Version 8.1. and trawling through 109 years of ye olde spreadsheeting.

Nicolaus Copernicus - inventor of the spreadsheet, and complete bastard

Buddhists represent a whopping 2.1% of the population. Islam comes in a hefty third (1.7%) and Judaism in fourth spot (0.5%). I'm sure 'Jedi' would have given the other minority religions a run for their money, had it not been disregarded by those humourless statisticians at the last census.

So next time you see a report on Today Tonight about the threat to your security by women wearing head scarves, or hear your local One Nation candidate talking about being 'swamped' by Muslim hordes, fear not. If you get a load of Pauline Hanson claiming that the 'Australian way of life' (whatever that is) is under threat by Islam, or hear claims that soon we will all be living under Sharia law, think again. The numbers say it all's those Buddhists we should fear!

While you could argue that 2.1% is nary a 'swamping', as Australia's fastest growing religion, Bhuddism is set to soon topple society as we know it. People will be forced to eat tofu burgers at incense point. Steak houses will be converted into Lentil as Anythings (sure its virtually free but the service is lousy). And we'll be forced to listen to Nirvana...the one without drums.

And on the world stage, our once quasi-aggressive nation will adopt a conciliatory stance with our traditional foes, and hold a neutral position on global conflicts. You just can't trust neutrals; you never know whose side they are on.

I think we need a war on inner peace before this gets out of hand. Where's George when you need him?

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At 17 June 2010 at 20:20 , Blogger Kath Lockett said...

Do you mean George Constanza? Or his father, Frank Constanza?


At 17 June 2010 at 21:54 , Blogger The Man at the Pub said...


I meant George, as in the Bush variety.

At 19 June 2010 at 18:47 , Blogger Baino said...

Dont be fooled they can be militant buggers if the mood takes them . . never trust a man dressed in orange. So last Tuesday.

At 20 June 2010 at 15:46 , Blogger Lorna Lilo said...

I think the hoodie poses a greater threat.


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