...dickheads

It would seem that government is moving closer to introducing legislation to prevent dickheads from engaging in their dickhead ways in public, or at least from annoying non-dickhead folk with their dickhead behaviour.

This may be a step in the right direction. The rules for the two annual music festivals held at Meredith for childless rock types (no glass, no fires, no dickheads) work surprisingly well. The dickheads are the ones who bring glass and light fires. But in the wider community, the problem lies in identifying who is indeed a dickhead and therefore worthy of prosecution. One hurdle is that the majority of participants in all levels of government (particularly local council) may be affected by these laws, so it is unlikely they will be implemented anytime soon.

But we already have laws for 4-wheel dickheads, aka hoons. People caught for DDD (Dangerous Dickhead Driving) can have their cars or motorbikes impounded for 24 or 48 hours, and can even have their vehicles permanently confiscated on their third offence. But after a few years and thousands of cars confiscated, judging by the regular near death experience that is driving up the Mahoondah Hwy on a Saturday night, I am left with the feeling that the laws just aren't coping. So I'm advocating a return to an old-fashioned approach of policing.

A recently heard a story that many years ago, a young driver was caught doing a big burnout on a public road. Rather than put him in a conga line of dickheads bound for the Magistrates Court, he took him back to the cop shop, gave him a bucket of soapy water and a scrubbing brush and ordered him not to leave the scene of the crime until he had cleaned every last bit of burned rubber of the road.

There were less dickheads around then, which I suspect is largely due to the important fact that a young man would rather have his car confiscated and/or be jailed than clean up after himself.