Friday, 10 July 2009

...where's the cheese?

When I bought my ukelele, my local purveyor of small guitars almost convinced me to buy an $80 model, despite it being my first time.

I said I wanted to start out slowly and not rush into anything. He said that if you start playing with an el cheapo crappo instrument you'd never get into it, and he had (has) a good point. The $80 number sounds heaps better. The $300 '"concert" ukelele is a work of art. The $400 electric ukelele in the shape of a Les Paul is out of this world.

But they're not kitsch enough, all serious looking with a natural woodgrain finish. Gimme the cadmium red el cheapo number, at least until they make a decent model with a sunset and palm tree on it. Its a fuckin ukelele for godssake! Where's the cheese? And where's the "Big Bumper Songbook of Daggy Hawaiian Tunes for Utter Morons" in the book selection?

Geez! Who do they take me for? Someone serious?


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At 10 July 2009 at 17:15 , Blogger eleanor bloom said...

ha! never!!!

i agree. bring on the kitsch! i hope you at least wear a loud hawaiian shirt when playing said instrument of cheese.

btw. i hath tagged you for a meme (for which i think 'ukelele' will likely be an answer for one of the questions... mayhap you can find one with a smothering of kitsch).

At 10 July 2009 at 18:42 , Blogger Lorna Lilo said...

You know they don't work if you are sober.

At 10 July 2009 at 21:38 , Blogger the projectivist said...

Eleanor and Lorna both raise very good points.

i like to picture you drunk, half-dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, sporting a 3-day-growth whilst strumming that thing and admonishing the world about 'yes, we have no potatoes'


At 10 July 2009 at 22:41 , Blogger Baino said...

When you can play like this:
I'll fall in love with you1

At 10 July 2009 at 23:23 , Blogger the projectivist said...

and i shall become the mother of your 6th child if you learn how to play this:

(much classier than Baino's offering)

At 10 July 2009 at 23:53 , Blogger The Blakkat said...

You mean they don't have 'Ukelele Strumming for Dummies'? Perhaps Kath could write that one.

I've never pictured what a modern day purchaser of a ukelele would look like, but now that person is always going to be you. You're wearing the Hawaiian shirt in the scenario, too.

At 11 July 2009 at 15:27 , Blogger The Man at the Pub said...

EB - The shirt is on its way. Just needs to get about 20 degrees warmer.

LL- Its OK Lorna. I don't work when I'm sober either.

Ms P - Drunk...check. 3-day growth...check. Half you don't want to picture that, and I'm unfamiliar with potato songs but I'll do some research. So you're 50% correct.

Baino - Thankyou! Jake Shimabukuro is God. I was unaware of his freakish talent. But he's a bit serious, and my ukelele sounds crap past the third fret (stupid crappy uke!)I might master Spanish Flea one day if I decide to practice.

Ms P again - I never took you for a Britney Spears fan.

Blakkat - Heya! I'm sure Kath would, but she's on holidays :o(
It seems I really ought to purchase some Hawaiian shirts if I'm going to go to the next level with this thing. I take women's fashion advice very seriously.

At 11 July 2009 at 20:22 , Blogger Kath Lockett said...

You are a champion. A CHAMPION, I say!

At 14 July 2009 at 22:16 , Blogger Bwca Brownie said...

Hec McLennan had the SUVA uke factory in Balaclava about 100 years ago.
I still have one my dad made when he worked there between school and WW2.

One of my melb blogpals is a uke freak - either RocknRoll Damnation or Lorraine Crescent (I forget which)but he goes Hawaiian fer shure.


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