Thursday, 1 October 2009

...mastercrap and the lost world

I love cooking. I love food. I hate Masterchef.

More generally, I hate 'reality' TV.

I hate the hype. I hate the voiceovers for the ads who talk in that engineered, breathy, phone sex voice. I hate the long pauses. I hate the drum rolls. I hate the faux seriousness they present it all with. I find it condescending. It hurts my brain.

Specific to Masterchef, I hate how they call the Premier of Queensland a 'celebrity'. I hate the fat bastards who lord it over the contestants. I hate the fact that I'm not getting paid a ton of money to eat yummy food and be a fat bastard. I hate that they don't have a women judge. I hate the looong pauses and that spooky music as the judges taste a dish, as if the future of the human race depends on the piquancy of Dave's Thai Pumpkin Soup.

But what I am enjoying is the BBC's Yellowstone in HD. Wow, that place is the freaking Lost World. It never ceases to amaze me how the U.S. has a poulation of 250 million, yet it still has vast tracts of unspoiled wilderness and a significant proportion of the world's megafauna, though like Australia, I guess it has to do with habitability. Yellowstone is a volcanic crater around 2000m elevation, and it gets down to -35 C in winter... not ideal for farming, but Utopia for horny Bison.



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5 Comments:

At 1 October 2009 at 12:44 , Blogger P said...

"I hate the looong pauses and that spooky music as the judges taste a dish, as if the future of the human race depends on the piquancy of Dave's Thai Pumpkin Soup."

Same, makes me want to throw my dinner roll at the telly!

I like the contrast of reality you show here. I'll take the BBC's slant on it any time - was completely over media generated reality shows after the first BB.

 
At 1 October 2009 at 16:00 , Blogger Kath Lockett said...

I agree with all your complaints re Masterchef, and yet....
.....I still watch it. And like it.

Maybe it's like pulling a bandaid off really slowly - it hurts, but I still do it....

 
At 1 October 2009 at 18:40 , Blogger Lorna Lilo said...

I hate the way George Calombaris, Columnbarus, Columbine, Calamaris whatever the hell his name is can manage to shave his head but not his face. Put them all in Yellowstone park and let yogi bear sort them out I say.

 
At 1 October 2009 at 21:10 , Blogger Baino said...

George Calamari eats like a pig but I LOVE Masterchef. I was addicted to the series (then there wasn't anything else on in that time slot and I can't get SBS since my brother installed his digital arial and snookered my normal one) but actually, I did enjoy last night's effort . . I never knew what to do with lotus root . .problem solved!

 
At 2 October 2009 at 23:22 , Blogger meva said...

Yellowstone is one of my must-see destinations before I die. I'd love to get in a convertible and cross the US of A from national park to national park, from east to west and north to south.

Who would I do it with, that's the question?

 

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