...a public hazard

I was riding my bike down Grattan St. Prahran a few years ago when I saw a couple, completely naked, having sex in the park in broad daylight.

So I did what most guys would do and rode straight into the back of a parked car. They stopped and looked up at me. And I was embarrassed.

Get a room people. What you're doing is dangerous!


Happy Friday!

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...sexucation

From theage.com.au

The Crazy Horse cabaret theatre, near the Champs-Elysees and an institution since 1951, is bringing a topical flavour to its famous nude revue as part of new show by star choreographer Philippe Decoufle that launches next week.

Decoufle (...) has overhauled the traditional strobe-lit routines with numbers including a Wall Street-themed "Crisis? What Crisis?."

The number starts with statuesque dancer Fiamma Rosa, fully dressed in businesswoman attire, sitting at a desk against a backdrop of neon orange, relentlessly falling stock prices.

As she begins her strip routine, the stocks begin to rise. The prices start to turn around the more Rosa reveals, and by the end of the number they have risen some 90 percent.

Brilliant! What better way to get men and burlesque fans to ponder topical issues than by putting it in suspenders and attaching sparkly nipple tassles. But why stop at current affairs? Why not bring stories from history back to life by giving it a big, French spice injection.

How about the Fall of Rome as told by naughty talking bum cheeks, or an interpretation of Gallipoli done by two scantily clad women in a mudbath. The 12th century Great Schism of Western Christianity eloquently portrayed by Ms Lula, a chair and a horse whip has never been so interesting, and on a personal level, I'd dearly love to see the 1939 expansion of Imperial Japan into Eastern China told by the saucy Dame Vilaine as Emporer Hirohito and Evette Sensuale as the young Mao Zedong. Mmmm. Genocide has never been so sexy.

Just think of all the teenage boys that might actually pay attention in history class and the following lunchtime conversations in the locker bay...

"Geez, The Battle of the Somme was a shocking affair...but it sure had nice tits!"

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...please don't explain

Pauline + Hanson + Naked

Two of those words are disturbing enough as it is. 'Naked' is good, depending on who you happen to be looking at. But put all three words in a row and you've just created a monster that truly didn't need to rear it's head from the dark bowels and recesses of the entire history of human depravity. Alright, worst things happen in Zimbabwe, but only just.

Now I hope Pauline is highly succesful in sueing the paper and person responsible, so that no other newspaper editor will show such insolence toward the concept of taste and humanity. May she get millions. I'll even chip in a twenty if I have to.

It can be said of Australia that she takes her traditions more from the British than the American culture, and that, in my opinion, is generally a favourable arrangement. But if our tabloids are to adopt the British fascination with all things involving politicians + sex, I'll be handing in my passport and joining my bros in the shaky isles... and I'll go tomorrow to beat the rush. 'Politician', like 'parent' is a word that shouldn't even share the same sentence as the word 'sex', let alone have nude pictures circulating in the public domain.....





....unless of course we're talking about Kate Ellis.



Joking.....
....kind of.

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