Tuesday, 11 August 2009


I'm not a Facebook junkie but I do see it's appeal. It seems less cold than sending emails and you can keep an eye on your friends' activities, if they are also into Facebook.... assuming that you actually give a toss about them.

I do use it a few times a week however and I'm starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable in my own skin, aside from the fact that in the Legal Terms & Conditions that everyone agrees to without reading when they sign up says that apparently I and all my friends and personal information are now the property of Facebook and that the only recourse I have involves spending 'Damnation in Hades' and something about filling my mouth in with cement.

I'm relatively fine with that. What I'm not sure about is my ex girlfriend now wanting to be my friend after dumping me seven years ago, (but she's a family friend, so I guess some degree of contact in inevitable). Or weirdo, long-lost relations inlaw wanting a cut of the 'action'. I haven't even met some of these people and from what I've heard, I don't want to! Or friends of the family that you don't particularly like. Just because I've had lunch with you at Aunty Beryl's house doesn't automatically mean I want to be your friend. Or my police officer inlaw, when me and my friends come from a strictly non-policeperson background. I don't want my police officer inlaw snooping around me and my friends' shenanigans, not that we actually do 'shenanigans' anymore, but I'd like to keep the door open.

What should I do?

Should I...

a) remove all of my personal information, photos, status, etc, change my name to Enigmah (with a silent "h" to make it more enigmatic), have extensive plastic surgery, move to the mountains of Ecuador, live with a group of exiled guachos and visit Facebook once a year for the purpose of 'keeping up appearances'?

b) go and see a psychotherapist about my acute paranoia?

c) not worry about it? Befriend everyone except convicted mass murderers and then completely ignore them?

d) not get romantically involved with friends of the family ever again?


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At 11 August 2009 at 18:14 , Blogger Lorna Lilo said...

F'book or any of those so called networking sites scare the crap out of me. Unless you are buying me birthday presents you are not my friend so piss off. I would suggest that you tell them to send you large quantities of cash if they want to be considered a friend (and charge more for ex-girlfriends). That'll shake a few out of the tree. I think I'm the only person on F'book that has no friends, no followers, no face and no f'ing idea how to use it - bliss.

At 11 August 2009 at 19:30 , Blogger Miles McClagan said...

The worst thing about about The Book is seeing how all the people at school who I liked and were cool now proudly show off ugly, ugly babies...

At 11 August 2009 at 21:20 , Blogger Baino said...

Miles you're such a Scot! Babies are gorgeous when they're yer ain kin.

Just ignore them. I get loads of invitations to play silly games and compare bits and I just ignore it. Be careful with the photos though. Anyone can see them unless you're settings are super private. Nothing to hide? Nothing to fear. Although a friend of my son's has caused a huge kerfuffle lately with 'inappropriate' photos that all and sundry can see. Stupid girl, teaches technology to primary students too! And how anyone can have over 300 friends defeats me. Then I'm not very popular.

At 12 August 2009 at 00:21 , Blogger Helen said...

I go with option c. I barely use it at all, particularly since my students started adding me (as I was personal friends with one of them I accepted and now I have to accept all of them to avoid showing favouritism.

Facebook is kind of where you have a flurry of catching up before you forget about people again...

At 12 August 2009 at 09:58 , Blogger elaine said...

another route, perhaps.

tick the box that says facebook can't share your info, set your sharing and privacy to 'friends only' and ignore requests from anyone with whom you don't want to share.

perhaps it is a sign of my age and things that have happened to me but whenever i see the photos of friends' babies I feel a sad longing. But I don't begrudge them their happiness. And I don't befriened people I care not for, no matter how many times they ask.

At 12 August 2009 at 19:16 , Blogger Kath Lockett said...

Ah, I play on FB and don't give a rat's clacker who knows about me. However if I'm honest the only thing I do it is read what everyone else up to. Like Baino I avoid all the 'do this quiz to find out what kind of shoe you are' and such guff.

If old tossbags from your past want to be your friend, either 'ignore' their request or let 'em, telling yourself that you're more popular than they are because you've got more FB friends.

So you don't want to be *my* FB friend then?

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