Friday, 9 October 2009

...beep


'Beep!'

Sure new cars are nice to drive in many respects,and I like the fact that I've been giving a new flasho work vehicle. It makes a nice change from the old ute with the grass growing in the back. But it goes 'beep' way too much for my liking.


Turn the car on.

'Beep Beep Beep (put your belt on)'
"Yeah, yeah gimme a bloody second. Geez. So impatient."

'Beep (you are now in reverse)'
"That's because I put the car in reverse. You have an extraordinary grasp of the obvious."

'Beep Beep Beep (there is something behind you)'
"Yes I am reversing toward the fence that I CAN SEE because I have my OWN EYES and I don't need a stupid beep to tell me."

'Beep Beep Beep (the something is getting closer)'
"That's coz I'm deliberately driving towards it."

'BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! (Danger! There is a large clump of soft green grass behind you now!)'
It's freakin' grass! And you're a freakin' 4WD you stupid yet luxurious piece of patronising crap!


Gah!

Take me back to a simpler time. A time when cars just chewed up your David Bowie mixed tape and didn't constantly bug you out by going 'Beep' in your ear.

.

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6 Comments:

At 9 October 2009 at 23:24 , Blogger the projectivist said...

turn the volume of your David Bowie Best Of cd up really loud, so that you drown out the sound of the beeps!

 
At 10 October 2009 at 08:10 , Blogger Baino said...

I wouldn't know. Haven't got a tape deck or a new car. I have a 15 year old Honda Accord but it does beep if I leave the headlights on . . that's a good thing!

 
At 10 October 2009 at 22:56 , Blogger meva said...

Are you sure it's a car and not a Road Runner?

 
At 11 October 2009 at 21:31 , Blogger Kath Lockett said...

I still have a tape player in my 1996 Magna and I'm sure there's a dusty David Bowie tape in the glovebox as well.....

 
At 13 October 2009 at 09:50 , Blogger killerrabbit said...

I had a work car that used to beep like crazy when I put my admittedly heavy handbag on the passenger seat. Nice when our transport devices think for us isn't it.

 
At 14 October 2009 at 20:15 , Blogger eleanor bloom said...

(wow, i thought my handbag was heavy!)

my car beeps when it reverses, not on the outside to warn others, but inside to warn me! or, maybe it's warning passengers the driver is now reversing and there's next to no visibility out the back of the car. OR... maybe it is for the driver's benefit after all, to block out the nervous squeals from the passenger/s.

 

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