...com-pu-pu-pu-pu-etc

"Video games don't kill people, they just kill their minds"
Bart Simpson

I've been playing computer games since my Dad brought home a precursor to modern consoles back in 1981. It was state of the art, and had 4 awesome games in it, controlled by a large red dial/knob thingamy...

Tennis...

Squash...

Wall tennis...

and Soccer...

It was just like the real thing, only less fun. The future looked bright.

I spend most of 1984 seeing this...


I clocked this baby dozens of times.

And soon I was playing this at my friend's houses. We couldn't afford a NES of our own. That or my Mum was a complete tight-arse killjoy.

But despite being born at the right time to soak in computer games from an early age, I was never a fat couch potato kid, ne'er were my peers (I am now though, despite having a Wii). I still spent a considerable amount of time outdoors on my yellow BMX, popping monos and wheelies (but never bunnyhops coz bunnyhops are gay).

And over the years I have destroyed hundreds of Capital Spacecraft and thousands of starfighters. I've shot down dozens of B-52 Flying Fortresses and downed countless AM6 Zeros. I've sunk submarines off Guadalcanal and divebombed Japanese airfields in the Marianas under heavy AA fire.

I've blasted ten thousand aliens (all of them nasty) and dismembered zombies with a chainsaw. I've killed terrorists with shotguns in dawn raids, and I've ran over dozens of pedestrians (accidentally).

I've done such things as ripped people's heads off with the spinal cord still attached, I've knifed people in the guts and sprayed their blood all over the room . Well I had to, or else they would have killed me!

And aside from the blogging, I've turned out perfectly normal. By that I mean I haven't actually killed anyone for real. I've never even hit someone, aside from my big sister but she deserved it because she kicked me square in the balls because she "just wanted to see what would happen". I'm even a bit of a vegetarian. I eat fish.... and duck. Well a duck is basically a fish isn't it because it spends most of its life on water. So I eat any animal that lives on or near a water body. I even give money to MSF to stitch up the poor people wounded in war zones.

So why do some people insist that computer games are the root of violence and obesity in our society? Stupidity is the root of violence and obesity in our society, and stupidity is born of low education and a lack of moral guidance. Despite what some people believe, I can tell the difference between an armless green-toothed zombie on a TV screen and a fellow pedestrian as I walk to the shops, aned therefore not have the urge to shoot them. Anyone who can't hopefully received urgent medical attention at a young age.

In the 1960's a guy in the USA went to see Disneys Snow White at the cinema. After that he came home and stabbed his mother 100 times because he belived her to be the wicked witch. Perhaps she was, but my point is that based on the anti-games people argument, we should ban that film because it incited violence. Lets not blame a sick mind, it's far easier to blame the movie/computer game/heavymetal song lyrics.

If computer games did affect the kids so profoundly, then my generation, who played a lot of Pacman, would spend much of their time in darkened rooms, popping pills and listening to repetitive music.

Heaven forbid!

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....fwoaarr!

I am in luuurrve, big time!!! Sorry Q, but I have a new partner, with whom I am about to start a long and productive relationship with (well the productivity bit is debatable). She's young, sassy, curvy, intelligent and designed to give maximum pleasure.

Love, thy name is HP Pavilion DV5-1223tx. Fwoaarr!


Things just weren't working out with my old notebook and she recently left me, completely shattered. Her replacement (an ex-work jobby exactly the same as the old one....only working) wasn't doing it for me either, so I hit the streets to look for a new partner, who was quite the bargain at $1479, With Intel Duo Core 2.15GHz, 2.0 GB RAM, NVidia GeForce 9200GS 512MB accelerator, 300GB HDD, 15.4" widescreen and Altec Lansing speakers, she's one dang hot mamma!


Now all I have to do is find the time to get to know her, which is a lot harder than it used to be. It's frustrating to think she's just lying there at home waiting for me to start pushing her buttons. These double-entendres are starting to make me feel sick so I'll stop now.


As you can probably already tell, this lovely classy new machine is not guaranteed to improve the quality of this blog.
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... twitter? wtf?

Why all the hoopla over Twitter? My twitter would be like...

11:43am 24/02/2009
....just farted

11:47am 24/02/2009
... farted again....slightly louder this time

11:52am 24/02/2009
...I'm bored

11:54am 24/02/2009
...you must be bored to be reading this crap

11:57am 24/02/2009
...a bird flew past the window

11:58am 24/02/2009
...it was brown

5:15pm 24/02/2009
...nearly time to go home

5:16pm 24/02/2009
...yay

5:29pm 24/02/2009
...time to go home

6:15pm 24/02/2009
...I'm home now

6:16pm 22/02/2009
....just farted


Riveting stuff.

Twitter's homepage states...

Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?

What I figure is that if was doing anything remotely interesting or important, I'd be kind of preoccupied with it, and giving live updates from a computer or mobile would be counter productive.

3:18pm 12/05/2010
... in Pamplona, about to start the Running of the Bulls

3:19pm 12/05/2010
... any minute now

3:20pm 12/05/2010
... oops. I missed the start because I thought it more important to give a Twitter update.

3:26pm 12/05/2010
... got chased by a bull. It was the black one with the white spot on its nose.

3:27pm 12/05/2010
... wondering whether I should go and get chased by another one?

3:29pm 12/05/2010
... just farted


I fail to see the value of this latest phenomenon.

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...trivialities

My laptop died last weekend.

Blogging will suffer.

And I have to try to fix it just to save some precious photos, otherwise it's a piece of shit not worth fixing. And I'm spending all next week in a hotel in a dead-boring, land-locked town in NSW, computerless (unless they have an internet cafe from where I can connect with the outside world).

I'm starting to get used to life without a computer being at arms length though. I'm rediscovering the joys of reading the printed word. I've got to read something more contemporary though. I'm thoroughly enjoying my Captain Cook biography, but my wife is teasing me for being such a nerd.

I may even do some writing, with a pen and paper, like I used to do back in the 1980's.

They're some pretty nice problems to have though, compared with the problems thousands of other Victorians are having at the moment. I can't write much more about it now. It's all been said a million times already. Though I did see some mind-blowing fire footage on the 7:30 report last night. A bloke in the mountains was home alone and had a fire shelter, so he stayed on his balcony until the last moment filiming the fire as it charged over the hill and swept through his property. Walls of flame 50m high at least. Pretty hairy stuff.


Have a great few weeks everyone, and I'll be keeping an eye on you all from afar.... that is, if the internet has made it Muswellbrook yet. Wish me luck.